Are We born or Made into Leaders?

Are Leaders Born or Made? 

The timeless debate of whether leaders are born or made has long intrigued me, prompting deep reflections. There are multiple books, classes, and general content that can dive into this question: are there natural born leaders, or people make their way up and are made.  

I was Born to be a  Follower 

I can say for a fact that I was not a born leader. In the patriarchal setting, I absorbed the belief that my role was to follow, prioritizeing others' needs, and uphold familial hierarchies. This early conditioning shaped my perspective, where questioning authority was deemed disrespectful, and my voice felt unheard in a world where elders' words held sway. In that case of being the youngest, everyone in my family held more sway than me. 

My childhood was spent following orders. Getting good grades, graduating high school, cooking, cleaning, when it came to free time, my siblings are the ones that took the lead on what to watch, what to listen to. Respecting family, only talk when talked about. 

When I was in my teens, there was a time that my mother was wrong. A statement she made was factually wrong and I corrected her. She called me “Hồng” , disrespectful. She yelled at me for correcting her, because how I was raised, the parents and elders are always right, no matter what. 

I was born in a world where my voice didn’t matter.  

I was going to be Made a Leader  

After university, my foray into the construction industry was marked by dedication and a hunger for knowledge. I immersed myself in diverse roles, eagerly absorbing every aspect of project management

I spent 8 years going from site to site,   Blast furnaces, Aluminium Rolling Mills, at one point I was juggling between three steel mills in a week. I was working hard, learning, doing everything I could. I thought I did everything right in order to advance. Despite my efforts and expertise, the glass ceiling felt impenetrable. I was not strong enough to break through the glass. 

At a point I realized I was playing an unwinnable game.  I’m not going to be made a leader. They were never going to promote me. In the end it was a good ol boys club. And I was not a boy. Coming back to Are Leaders Born or Made? – For me, I couldn’t do either Born or made. 

What Did I become? 

Over the years, I changed industries. While I still love construction, they were not ready to listen to me. In my gut, I felt I could be a change. In the construction industry, processes that they haven’t changed in decades, to their slow adoption to technology. I saw the industry  do the same thing over and over again, and I wanted to be the change. 

So I became construction - adjacent working for a software company that manages construction. I became a consultant changing people’s business practices, and I had to think outside the box.  I was a small group of people and we were just figuring it out. But when I saw my clients I put all of my experiences into helping.

I became more vocal and asked questions and people finally listened. People were paying to listen to me. My focus shifted into making the change that I couldn't do in industry. I never became a Project Manager and that’s okay. 

In focusing only on the change I can make to someone because that’s what I wanted to do. I’ve worked with over 300 clients. I worked with people from Project Managers, C-Levels, Director and founders of companies. I built up a team of consultants from 2 to 40+. In just 4 years. I went from a consultant to a Principal consultant to managing a team of consultants.  

The world is already tough enough for women in the industry I chose. I didn’t make it easy for myself when I thought about the question of “Are leaders born or made?” Thinking back I put myself in a box. A box that I couldn’t get out. I needed to get out of the box for me to become the leader that I became. 

For me my journey in leadership was more of an evolution. I learned, not a straight pathway. Instead of being born or made. I just became. So my take away for you, is to think about a question or statement, that you think about that puts you in a box that holds you back or second guess yourself, and see how you can evolve. The only thing that you have control is is yourself. What can we push to help shift the narrative? If we as women continue to question ourselves, how can we help ourselves out of the box?