Travel Series: Shifting my Mindset in Germany
While I always thought that France was always a country that I was going to visit, but never did. Germany was a country that was never on my radar, but has changed me in a way that I never expected.
My first visit to Germany was in Munich, where I spent New Year's Eve on a road trip through Europe with a guy I was dating at the time (but that’s another story).
My second visit came after my first yoga teacher training in Spain. Through the yoga collective, I arranged to teach at a few studios in Europe in exchange for free accommodations. My first stop was in Stuttgart, Germany.
During teacher training, I struggled with speaking in front of everyone. I'd freeze up, never having been in a position where I had to “own” the room before. It was a daily struggle. At one point, I had to talk in front of a fan to drown out my own voice, just to go through the motions of teaching a class.
As nervous as I was, the studio owner gave me words of encouragement and support, she didn’t focus on perfection. I spent most of my life suppressing my emotions and, unknowingly, my voice.
I'll never forget teaching my first 26+2 class. Just being in the room is intimidating enough for practice, but teaching it was a different level. I was the only voice in the room—no chitchat, no music, just my voice and the inhales and exhales of everyone’s breath. My main goal was to just finish the class, 90 minutes. Suppressing my fear came easy as that’s what I’ve always done. Speaking was new, but that’s what teacher training was all about, teaching. The only thing I could do was take a deep breath and speak.
That’s what I did, focus on the cues, looked at bodies and guided them in a 90 minute practice. At one point, while everyone was in savasana, I looked around and felt a surreal sense of accomplishment. Just a week prior, I was crying in a corner, unable to teach even one posture. Now, here I was, leading an entire class of sweaty Germans in this hot room. I was proving to myself that I could improve and move forward.
An Unexpected connection
The studio owner and I shared a unique bond; her family, like mine, were immigrants—hers from Turkey to Germany. She spoke about the complexities of being an immigrant and her relationship with her mother. It was the first time I openly discussed my own feelings. Many topics were shared during our conversations, but what stood out to me as I left Germany was the idea of undoing the teachings from my mother.
This concept has stayed with me to this day. Unlearning suppression, unlearning the pursuit of perfection, unlearning the submissive nature I had been taught—these were deeply ingrained lessons from my upbringing. This is something that cannot be untaught overnight.
What this idea gave me was the seed to think differently. It granted me the freedom to question and reconsider the foundations I had been taught. Years later, as I think about it now, this mindset allowed me to learn, unlearn, and relearn, paving my own way without feeling guilt. But back then, this was the point in my life that I was starting to believe in myself.
References of Memorable Moments in Germany -
- Das Leuze - Great place to hang out and read a book and relax in between yoga classes
- Stuttgart Library - I don’t know why, but going to the top floor and looking down, only seeing the coloured books in this white building, seemed like a piece of art to me.
- The first yoga studio I taught - Still holds a special place in my heart
- Next door to the yoga studio was this organic store. This sounds weird but the carbonated mineral water is the best I’ve ever drank. I thought it was because of the brand but looks like it’s a German thing .
- Biking around Stuttgart with a friend I met is one of my favourite experiences. No link but sometimes the moments of just enjoying someone’s company made me feel less alone on the trip.
- There was at least 50 people at this New Year Eve House party and at one point of the night, everyone sat down to watch a British Sketch. “Dinner for One”
