Finding Myself in the Hot Room: My Journey with Yoga
I remember my first hot yoga class vividly. I was 23, fresh out of college, in a new city, and desperate to lose weight. I'd tried every fad diet and was now tackling every fad exercise. Bikram yoga was the latest craze. I attended my first class and hated it.
If you've never experienced a 26 and 2 (formerly known as Bikram), let me paint a picture. The room's humidity is about 45%, and the temperature ranges between 98-105 degrees. You're in a hot box, sweating even before laying down your mat. The 90-minute class, devoid of music, leaves you alone with your thoughts, guided by an instructor who doesn't demonstrate but walks around. Looking around is discouraged; you're meant to focus on yourself.
The thought of facing my sweaty body, without music, attempting poses I couldn't imagine doing was daunting. Surrounded by confident, skinny women, I loathed myself even more. I was sure I'd pass out or get yelled at for drinking water. I’d compare myself to everyone else, putting myself down on how fat I looked, how I just couldn’t be that flexible like everyone else.
Back then, I was broke and desperate to lose weight, trying every intro special at gyms, cycling studios, and yoga studios. I stuck with 26 and 2 for the structure and focus it provided. Over time, the incessant negative chatter in my head quieted. I began to accept and even smile at myself, as prompted by the yoga teacher.
Slowly, I started feeling slimmer, my foggy brain started to decrease. This routine continued on and off for years. In the hot room, doing 26 postures twice with a breathing exercise. Without realising it, what I learned in the hot room began to influence my life outside of it.
Years of consistent practice revealed several truths. I discovered how to quiet my mind, the connection between mind and body, and the importance of structure and focus. I learned to let go. I confronted my emotions head-on, often crying or feeling intense anger but learning to process and release these feelings through the practice.
Traveling for work, I sought out studios wherever I went. The consistent routine of the classes, no matter the location, made the hot room my home and safe place. Yoga became an obsession, the one thing I looked forward to daily. I no longer compared myself to everyone in the room, but found a peace in my own thoughts. I found solace in yoga.
Yoga has been the single most transformative tool in my life. Although I've transitioned from 26 and 2 to Flow. While 26 and 2 taught me structure and focus, flow is teaching me to be comfortable with the unknown. I’m still learning things and embracing the uncomfort and bringing it in the outside world.
Growing up in a world where I was striving for perfection, yoga has taught me to embrace the journey. Even after ten years, I'm still learning. It's a yoga practice, not yoga perfection.
It's still a daily struggle; when I get busy, yoga is the first thing I tend to neglect. However, what matters most is that I always come back to it. I've shared my journey with yoga, and others have expressed similar feelings about biking, hiking, or spinning. Yoga has been the tool that helps me find peace and connect my mind and body. Before you dismiss yoga because you think you're not flexible, I suggest replacing the word "yoga" with any activity that helps you escape your thoughts and reconnect with yourself.