Finding Happiness?

Awareness 

Life is full of ups and downs, and my recent articles have leaned heavily into the weight of the latter. Today, I want to shift the focus to something lighter. Through my experiences and writing, I've realized that I often view the world through a more melancholy attitude. 

Reading "The Body Keeps the Score" opened my eyes to how trauma can transfer from parents to children. My parents survived war, and the anxieties and survival instincts they developed have indirectly shaped my mindset. I’ve noticed this in myself that I’m always in "survival mode," Mirroring their struggles to survive.  I accepted the why, and it didn’t make me feel so crazy in my own skin. 

I've made significant strides in my life, transitioning from trying to be the "perfect Vietnamese girl" to accepting that I am a failure in my parents' eyes. Something that has always pushed me forward was knowing I was building grit which  allowed me to grow and build the muscle for perseverance.  

I first wrote my experiences because it I felt that had limited time. But now that I've chosen to live fully, I wonder if I want to spend the rest of my life with this mindset. Understanding what happened and having tools to move forward are essential, but I’ve neglected focusing on the mindset of happiness.

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on my journey. It’s been filled with highs and lows, and in hindsight, I wouldn't change a thing because they’ve shaped who I am today. 

I have a theory that everyone has their own idea of what happiness is. I wholeheartedly believe that a real definition of Happiness doesn’t exist. To me, happiness is a perfect moment—a moment in time where everything aligns and is perfect. Those perfect “this is like a movie” moments, where there is no survival mode, only a moment of joy. Then it fades, and survival mode resumes.

How I live through survival mode is a tool I call yoga. Yoga has been a sanctuary for me, a way to breathe, let go, and find calm. I practice it because I know it’s good for me. But there’s more to life than just surviving

The Happiness Advantage  

I’ve been in survival mode for thirty something years, to a point that it becomes second nature to me. I can dive into the inner pits of my depression, and know why I’m depressed, why I think about the way I think, and yoga myself out of it. 

For my generation and my parents', we’ve lived under the shadow of an "invisible enemy" – a life filled with sadness and trauma that we seldom discuss.  I feel because of this invisible enemy I’ve accepted my mindset but never thought about changing it. 

This all changed when I started reading  "The Happiness Advantage". This book has shown me that it’s possible to change my way of thinking. I can think about it, theorize it, and contemplate all I can, but like this book says. It’s not about thinking about it. It’s about actions. There’s a third path and right now I choose to change.

Where do I find Joy 

I’ve thought about my version of happiness, and it’s generally been when I’m traveling—a time when I disconnect completely, feel free, and live in the moment. Most of the realizations in my life have come during these perfect moments. As I continue my journey this summer, I’ll focus on the lessons I’ve learned from my travels and the joy they’ve brought me, and I’ll share these lessons with you.